Are we fated?

A theme we have been thoroughly discussing in English class this month is fate.  We read Oedipus a drama where by trying to escape his fate Oedipus actually makes his fate come true.  The entire play stated the message that fate is inevitable and there is nothing we as humans can do to escape it. However I am not entirely sure that this is true.
As a Christian I believe that God has given us free will and He is all knowing, however there are certain things that are predetermined or fated.  For example where you were born, who your parents are, and what you look like (naturally) are all things decided for you.  There are plenty of things that happen in our lives that are not a result of anything we do, like if a family member dies or you lose a job that's not something that you chose to happen out of free will, that happened because of things out of your control.
Another perspective on fate is the butterfly effect where everything is related to each other and the littlest thing can change the course of someone's life, or even the world. The movie we watched in class, Run Lola Run, showed how just because the main character didn't buy a bike off of a guy he ended up getting beat up for a bike and then at the hospital met a girl, fell in love, and got married.  That seems so ridiculous to me that one little interaction can change his life like that.  Yes, her refusal made him keep the bike, however he made the choice to drive down the street with the muggers, and he made the choice to ask the nurse out, and she made the choice to say yes.  There are things that can influence our decisions but ultimately you decide for your self.  This is the way I'm starting to see life as a constant flow of individual choices that direct our lives and cause us to interact and cross paths with one another however certain things are always out of our control.  However there are certain interactions that can be life changing so how are we suppose to know which ones are and which ones are meaningless.
Some may argue that their career was fate and they were destined for one job.  I believe part of that is true and part is false.  I believe that God has given everyone certain talents and traits that would be best fitted for certain jobs however that doesn't necessarily mean its destiny but rather a natural ability. I am gifted with abilities in math and science so I want to be an engineer.  Is that my destiny? Who knows? I could have chosen to want to be a teacher or a scientist or plenty of other things but I feel like what I want to do is engineering. Which is a choice I have made for myself not because I am "supposed" to be an engineer.
Another thing is soul mates. The idea that there is only one person who is a perfect match for you. The more I think about it the more I've come to realize there is no way to determine if this is true.  Yes, there are certain people who are compatible with you but there is no way to be positive that out of  all the people on the planet the one you found is the only one for you, unless you personally meet everyone in the world.  Say I meet someone in college who has all the characteristics I look for in a guy and we get married, how would I know if there was another guy who went to college across the country who I would have married if I went there instead?  There is no way of knowing that he was the only guy I could love however because we found each other it worked out.
Now through talks with my dad and other friends I've started to figure out where God is in all of this. What role does He play.  I looked up some verses that had to do with fate. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon says that everything has a time placed by God and He has set everything for us "11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end (Ecc. 3:11)" so this alleviates worries about the future.  However in Proverbs 16:9 I think it gives a perfect answer to where God is involved. It says "The heart of man plans his way, but The Lord establishes his steps."  This is exactly what I was thinking. Basically we make choices, but God still intervenes and can allow things to happen.  
To say there is only fate or just free will is too one sided to be true.  We make decisions every day that shape our future, although a few things along the way are out of our control, God is there every step of the way.